As a white, middle class, suburbian girl born into a life of having all I need and a safe place to lay my head for most of my life, I have never experienced racism. No one has ever looked at me and sized me up as less than optimum because of my skin color. Maybe my hair wasn’t too stylish – I could change that. Maybe I had a bad attitude that day – I can change that. Maybe I was on the not so popular side of a heated debate – but that too was a choice. I have never worried about being judged or less than safe because of my skin color. As a young woman who was raised by my mother to see individuals as much as possible as individuals, created by God for a purpose and treat EVERYBODY with respect – I kind of thought racism was not a thing for people under the age of 80. I was wrong.
Our family is blended. By blended, I don’t mean his, hers, and theirs kids. I mean we have biracial children and grandchildren. This may not seem like a farm topic, but it most definitely is. You see, with all the hype in the media racism is under the microscope. I find myself concerned a bit about moving our colorful family to an area of very conservative farmers. See, the racism in my current area is known. The farther up some hollers you go, the more racism you will see. People know our family, they know my children, my family members and my grandchildren for who they are. Though we have seen some racism, it is limited and fairly predictable. (Just because there is a rebel flag on that “redneck” truck does not actually mean they are racist)
Now we are testing the waters. We are moving to an unknown area of old, established families who have farmed for years – who may or may not be accepting of our colorful family. I am not really scared, just concerned.
This isn’t meant to invite a debate, it is just a consideration that may be slightly unique but probably not too unique. I have learned many things since becoming “blended” – here is a short list if anyone is interested.
- Even well intentioned white people who think they are not racist often hold racially biased frameworks and beliefs – they just don’t realize they are racism. There are still people who think inwardly “he does a good job for a . . . “
- Racism sometimes goes the other way. I seriously knew and talked to my grandchildren’s grandfather for years and never one time considered the color of his skin. Someone had to explain to me that a person was upset that he married and had children with a white woman. “Oh, I forgot he was black” NO kidding. But, if someone had never talked to me, and only looked at the fact that I grew up in the suburbs – they may assume I was racist. That is also racism.
- White folks think that racism no longer exists – that is not true – it still exists. We are making great strides, the problems are less often from less people, more tolerant of the differences, more open to communication, less “I’m better than you” – but we aren’t done. But, the fact that there are people who get named in the black community because they are white folks trying to act “black” – means progress is being made. Someone who is trying to “be black”. . . . is the sincerest form of flattery
- I know that sometimes we really aren’t being racist, but are accused, true.
- There is not a white girl alive who has brown girl hair – some things are “brown girl” – we can talk about it, we don’t have to ignore the differences, we just have to find both beautiful!
- God created us on purpose to be who we are. He didn’t say, “Oops, that one was supposed to be red-headed but I made her blonde.” He didn’t make a mistake in making someone’s skin color, hair color, eye color etc. We are ALL here for His glory. We are ALL here to tell people of his marvelous grace! We need to be secure in who we are because He created us to be who we are! AND – We should allow someone else to be who He created them to be – even when they don’t look or act like us.
I am sure there are many, many more things to be said on race relations. But, if you are reading this just know that due to lingering racism, there is a hint of concern in this protective, loving momma and grandmomma. I will pray about it. I will trust God and move forward. I will give my kids a safe place to grow into their full potential. I will not give in to fear . . . For God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. . . But, it is an issue. Glad that God sees hearts and makes people beautifully different!
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