Hot Mess!

I don’t know if you can tell it or not, but I am just a little crazy!

In the last few weeks we have had family farm week, the girls are out of school, we have been to Indianapolis and Virginia, we have welcomed a brand new grandbaby, we have moved to the farm full time for the summer, and we FINALLY have internet at the farm.  I have been able to pick a few peas from our ugly messy garden and I can see a glimmer of hope that we might get to can tomatoes, and both of the teenagers are visiting elsewhere for a week or so.

When it is cool in the morning and I can hear the birds – love the farm.

When it is 85 degrees, I hate the farm.

When I see a tomato or a pepper growing,- I love the farm.

When I look at the fact that the weeds seem taller than the veggies – I hate it.

When the stars take my breath away as I lay in my bed and watch them out the window – I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be anywhere else.

Then, in the morning I need to be among the big family who are all an hour away – and I hate it again.

One thing I know through this interesting and shifting time in my life – God loves me; as I am, pouting and praising, honest and raw, good days and bad.

The shirt was a gift from my niece – and will be treasured!  It sums me up so well.  I know that I am a hot mess.  I know that I am more selfish than I should be, that I often choose the wrong words or the wrong attitude.  I know that I most definitely do NOT have it all together, that I can’t be perfect even when I am trying.  I am thankful that God does not expect that of me.  I am thankful that with God it isn’t a love/hate thing.  He loves me through the ugly stuff and sees me through the filter of Jesus.  That is amazing grace – which I need an abundance of when it is 90 degrees and I can’t hide in the air conditioning.